So, How's It Been Going?

Good morning!

Looks like I'm just waking up from a very long nap. Not sure who's doing the waiting these days - God, me, my readers? Let's just say that life takes its turn with priorities and other things seem to slip from focus. I find that focus is probably my biggest challenge. At times I feel fragmented, trying to do it all - home, work, family, hobbies - none of it getting my full attention - and none of it prioritizing my health. Guess without my health, none of it really gets done.

"They" say a person has to hit bottom before they can come back again. The soreness in my joints, especially my feet and legs had begun to take a toll on me. So, one morning I woke up and had a little talk with myself. I was at the end of my rope. Here are some of the things I was feeling:

• joint pain in my knees, especially the left knee
• fatigue, often falling asleep at inappropriate times of the day
• inability to walk without the right heel of my foot writhing in pain
• irritability with family and friends
• borderline depression
• caregiver burn-out
• anger
• no motivation or physical momentum
• puffy face, wrists and ankles

Enough about me and my maladies. Everyone around had been trying to tell me for years that something has to be done or you are going to have a heart attack or stroke. I couldn't see what was really staring back at me in the mirror. Didn't really want to face the reality.

But on December 1, 2012, I faced reality. Couldn't take it any more - didn't want to keep doing things the same way I'd been doing things before. It's true, I kept getting the same results! I'm so stubborn and can't really blame my Irish and German ancestors. This was something I could no longer blame others for. It was time to man-up and take responsibility and action for myself. And, so I did.

On that early Saturday morning I took ownership. I found a plan. I took the reigns. I began to focus on the important. I searched for God's counsel.

Eight weeks later, I'm feeling successful. Some might say that's silly considering you've only been "sticking" to the program for 8 weeks. Here's how I'm measuring success:

• No longer fighting sugar and carb addiction - I've discovered that eating "healthy" isn't so bad
• Bodily inflammation has dropped considerably, even to the point of no noticeable swelling
• My skin is healthier with less blemishes
• Fatigue is not as severe and I no longer experience day-time drop offs
• I'm less anger and more realistic at where my anger should be directed
• I feel more in control of my life and my choices - no one to blame for my over-eating and over-weight except me
• My knees don't hurt as often and the heel of my right foot barely hurts
• My face is not as puffy and others are beginning to notice the change
• And, did I mention, I've lost 22.6 lbs.?

My counselor asked me to write down the good feelings I'm experiencing. Motivators to hang on to when life derails me (and my counselor reminded me that it would). I really don't want to go back to the old ways and at times I can hardly comprehend how different I feel with twenty-something pounds lost.

This summer, my hubby and I plan to travel to Alaska - in less than 150 days, I'm weighting to see just how much more health I will experience. Just thinking about that can be extremely motivating!

I haven't forgotten the most important part of this journey. My spirit knows that I have not walked this way alone. Sure, my hubby, family, friends, co-workers and counselor have walked along side of me. But, without the One who created me and knows my innermost being, I am nothing. He truly does know the plans He's laid before me - I for one am ready to watch them unveil, step by step, one day at a time!

Where are You Headed?

Each of us is on a journey, whether or not you've identified it or not. A girl from our church, Jessica, is walking the Pacific Mountain trail. Others I know are going to school to change careers after the age of 50. Still others I know are tackling things such as divorce and disease and it was never something they anticipated.

Three weeks ago, I suffered a fall while doing of routine of walking to the restroom. The fall was a hard one. Bruised ribs and a sprained knee are what I walked away with (well, not really because it took two security guards to lift me from the floor).

Realizations upon realizations reminded me that I cannot continue to weigh what I weigh and continue to be healthy or active. This fall has become a turning point for me. After the fall, I drove 1200 miles to make a memorable trip with my daughter and grand-daughter, and then spent 8 days watching my grandchildren. On top of that I received a summer cold like nothing I've ever experienced. Diss-ease is how I would explain the last month in my life.

At the same time my supportive husband came home and told me about a food plan that our Chiropractor is advocating for weight loss. Of course I'm primed and ready. Health is what I'm searching for. Last Thursday I attended the introductory meeting and this Thursday I'll attend my one on one to determine how I can finally remove this 150 lbs. of extra weight.

Stay tuned - I'm excited about being healthy again!

Only He Can Satisfy My Hunger

Really not much to say today except that it seems over the past few days that I'm more in tune to my hunger. I'm more aware of my eating.

Today, I'm borrowing a post from Lysa TerKeurst, the author of "Made to Crave", hoping that it's words will encourage me and possibly some of you who read my posts.

Make it a great day and continue to inch your way out of the weighting room.


February 2, 2012

Physically Overweight and Spiritually Underweight
Lysa TerKeurst


"'My food,' said Jesus, 'is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.'" John 4:34 (NIV)

If you've attended many Christian women's events, you've probably heard the story of the Samaritan woman told from just about every possible angle. If I hear someone start to speak about her at a conference, I'll admit my brain begs me to tune out and daydream about tropical places or items I need to add to my grocery list.

It's not that I don't like her story. I do. It's just that I've heard it so many times I find myself doubting there could possibly be anything fresh left to say about it. But in all my years of hearing about the Samaritan woman, reading her story, and feeling like I know it, I missed something. Something really big.

Right smack dab in the middle of one of the longest recorded interactions Jesus has with a woman, He starts talking about food. Food! And I'd never picked up on it before. I somehow missed Jesus' crucial teaching that our bodies must have two kinds of nourishment: physical and spiritual.

Just as I must have physical food for my body to survive, I have to have spiritual food for my soul to thrive. Jesus says, "My food ... is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work" (John 4:34 NIV). And then he goes on to say, "I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest" (John 4:35b NIV).

There is a bigger plan here! Don't get distracted by physical food. Don't think physical food can satisfy the longing of your soul. Only Jesus can do this. Our souls were created to crave Him and love others to Him. So many people are waiting to hear the message of your calling. Don't get stuck in defeat and held back from it.

In the midst of offering salvation to the Samaritan woman, Jesus seems to wander off on this tangent about food. But it's not a tangent at all.

Actually, it fits perfectly. It relates directly to the core issue of spiritual malnutrition. Specifically, it's about trying to use food to fill not only the physical void of our stomachs but also the spiritual void of our souls. For years, I've been physically overweight but spiritually underweight. How crucial it is for us to remember:

Food can fill our stomachs but never our souls.
Possessions can fill our houses but never our hearts.
Sex can fill our nights but never our hunger for love.
Children can fill our days but never our identities.

Jesus wants us to know only He can fill us and truly satisfy us. He really wants us to really believe that.

Only by being filled with authentic soul food from Jesus—following Him and telling others about Him—will our souls ever be truly satisfied. And breaking free from consuming thoughts about food allows us to see and pursue our calling with more confidence and clarity.

Dear Lord, I know that it is true that only You can fill me. I acknowledge that You are the Lord of my life. I want to please You today in all that I do. Help me to follow You. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Related Resources:
Click here to visit Lysa's blog for a chance to win her book "Made to Crave" and her new 60 day Made to Crave Devotional.

If this devotion resonated with you, Lysa's book Made to Crave is just what you've needed. Click here to order your copy!

This book can be a group Bible Study by using these life-changing resources: Made to Crave Participant's Guide and Made to Crave DVD teaching series, also by Lysa.

Never Give Up

Hello. It's me again. Still fighting this battle called obesity. Still wishing when I look in the mirror that I was thin. Still wanting to eat and yet be thin. Still not wanting to discipline myself to do the work.

Yesterday I visited my favorite counselor. Tried to dodge the work that needs to be done to be healthy. Tried to make excuses as to why this will never work. Tried to use my age as a factor.

She listened and then told me to roll up my sleeves. She encouraged me. Got me to face my demons. She gave me tools and showed me how to use them. She affirmed me and gave me hope.

Today is the first day after that session. As I sift through the anger and fatigue of facing yet more weight-related challenges, I feel refreshed to begin again.

Dear Lord, continue to walk beside me as you always have. Give me strength and courage to be healthy. Remind me that you have created me for a purpose. Give me a hope and a future. Amen

Just Plain Exhaused!

Yesterday I was reminded of the scripture that encourages us to run the race with confidence. Only one can win the race. We do it by disciplining ourselves. Seems like I've been running for years, without results. Running to and from God. Running to and from food. Running to and from exercises. Running, running, running and getting absolutely nowhere, (with all of that running, you'd think I'd be burning more calories - hamsters do!)

I read some words written by the Bible teach Beth Moore this morning. She was talking about addictions and how they grab hold of you and how often we just resolve to give in and stop fighting. There are days when we stop running and fighting and we let the grizzly catch us and rip us into tiny, little shreds.

Through the years, I've watched countless people diet and regain, diet and regain, just to diet again. No wonder our minds are so cluttered. No wonder we can't stay focused. We find excuse after excuse after excuse to indulge ourselves and throw discipline to the wind.

I'm so tired of running. So tired of losing the race. So tired of getting nowhere. I'm tired of fighting. Tired of food plans, just plain tired of it all - as a matter of fact, I'm just plain exhausted. There's nothing left of me.

Reviewing the paragraphs I've been writ ting for the past few minutes, there is a common theme - I, I, I, I. Hmmm, seems to be all about me - yep, it's all about me. "I" is an exhausting subject! I'm realizing that self-centeredness is exhausting.

LORD, HELP ME GET MY FOCUS OFF OF ME! I have no more words, only His words. Let Him do his work in me, I'm too tired to continue with my own nonsense!

I Corinthians 9:24 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

AMEN and so be it!

It's a New Day

All of us experience it. We have up days and down days and blah days. Days when we feel like doing nothing and days when our family and friends can't get us to sit down because we are a whirlwind of activity. We hunger for what is "normal". We long to have a routine. We cry out for days that go well, but there is always something to derail us - too much traffic in the morning that makes us late for work; a call from the school nurse that our child has a fever; bad weather, when it's the day we finally decided to start our running or walking routine.

As I typed the sentences above, I felt the tug of something greater. The tug that I allow the changes in my day to get me off track. Could it be I'm looking for an excuse to fail? A chance to blame someone else for my failure to lose weight? I think I might have just uncovered my vulnerability to failure.

It's not my fault, it's the restaurant for serving such high-fat foods; it's grandma's fault for teaching me to enjoy cookies and milk; it's my families fault for having all of these salty snacks around; it's your fault for ... fill in the blank.

Personal responsibility. Personal discipline. Personal motivation. Personal accountability. That's the remedy, that's the key to moving forward and tasting success.

My desire is to be healthy, but I'm never going to get there if I don't stop blaming others for my overeating. The Bible has promised me that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and yet I keep on going my own way, following my own failed paths.

But, it's a new day - the freshness of the morning rain, the quietness of the house, and the prospect of wonderful things all warm my heart right now. I can do this thing. I can throw this monkey off my back. I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength! Philippians 4:13

Always Available is not Always a Good Thing

Sometimes I hate the fact that food is so easily accessible in America. I wonder if there are statistics showing that people who live in the city weigh more than people who have to travel further for their food? Within five square miles of my house there are probably ten grocery stores and at least 50 restaurants. Always available.

Listening to myself read the above paragraph out loud, sounds pathetic to my ears. Pathetic that I'm complaining about so much available food when so many in this world scratch for the food they eat. I saw a brief five-minute segment on the Travel channel the other day that showed young boys roaming the city dump scavenging for something that they might sell in order to buy food. They work 12-14 hours each day in filthy garbage and human waste, just to make enough money to feed their families. This very fact should shame me, but being truthful, it shames me very little because I'm so spoiled that I can't even empathize with their pain.

I'm reminded of the word "balance" just now. The Bible reminds me often to find balance. Philippians 4:12 (NIV)says - "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Each day I strive to strike a balance between the foods I eat and the foods I want to eat, but leave on my plate. I must confess that I'm not as content when I'm hungry as I am when I'm well fed.

"Dear Lord, how greedy (I've) we've become as an American. A land so teeming with abundance that we eat more than we should and waste what we shouldn't. Forgive me my selfish ways and remind me often how blessed I really am. In Jesus Name, Amen."